Where are my jokes?

Busy. Busy. Busy. Jokes are coming. In a public library where I am now – no Cyrillic. I came here, into my Posts, with a nice joke in Russian, and then I realized, that there’s no Cyrillic here.

Ok!

See you later!

January 9, 2019. AZ, USA

My Books for Sale

5 books for sale by author

Dear Visitor,

I have a few books that I authored – at home. They are for sale.

Mostly they are 1st editions of my books that have my previous last name on them, so the author will look like “Zoia Sproesser”. In 2014 I divorced Sproesser and took back my maiden name – Eliseyeva. After December 2014 I re-published a few of my books with “Zoia Eliseyeva” as author on them. However, I did not republish all of my books, that are about 20 by now, so a reader can find my books with the both last names online. I tried to discontinue the 1st edition with “Zoia Sproesser” on it for those titles which I republished as Zoia Eliseyeva.

At home I do have a few books of the 1st editions, like “Chekhov and Goncharov – Russian-English”, or “Moidodir – Russian-English”, or The Masque of Red Death – 5 languages (Eng-Ger-Fre-Spa-Rus). Actually, “The Masque…” I created already after December 2014, so the name on it can only be Zoia Eliseyeva.

I will edit this article to enclose the list of my books on sale with prices. I just wanted to let the visitor of my site know that I do not have drastic* measures with customers like Amazon does. If you order my book, I will just send it to you from a local post-office with the shipping charge as $3.00. It is hard to tell exact shipping charge until one is at a post office with that book, however, for one book it is unlikely will be higher than that.

I will start the list with the book that I have mentioned.

LIST of my books for sale:

Attention, visitors! My List will be adding, as I have time. I just started here with my first book. (Jan. 3 2019) The list will go from down to up. You will always see the last post on the top, and the very first you will find on the bottom.

2.

Russian-English Dual Language Book Based on the Masterpiece of the British Humorous Classical Novel Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome… 1st Edition. March 2011. 62 pages
This Russian language UTube extract is read by Zoia Eliseyeva who is a native speaker of Russian language.


The following is the link to Kindle 2nd (Extended) Edition of the book.

https://www.amazon.com/RUSSIAN-LANGUAGE-MASTERPIECE-Classical-Eliseyeva-ebook/dp/B00W6AZ57K/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1546796537&sr=1-1&keywords=Russian-English+Dual+Language+Book+Based+on+the+Masterpiece+of+the+British+Humorous+Classical+Novel+%22Three+Men+in+a+Boat%22+by+Jerome+K.+Jerome

Link above is the link to Kindle Edition Price $5.79  2nd Ed. 2015 (Extended: 83 pages – Kindle edition, and 162 pages the same edition in paperback) by Z.Eliseyeva.  

Here I have a rhetorical question: Why is the Kindle edition 2 times shorter in number of pages than a paperback? Because they “crumple” all the text? In that case, this parallel text may not lay out well in e-format, unless e-format pages are 2 times longer/bigger in size. The whole idea of English and Russian parallel text of this book is to see simultaneously English paragraph and the corresponding to it Russian paragraph.

I am very sorry for the formatting of this text – it is uncontrollable! I try to click Block, I try to click Document and the pasted text is not possible to format better. WordPress obviously thinks that a simple mortal teacher has to be a computer engineer familiar with HTML formatting. I once had a textbook of HTML language in my hands, and I assure you it was far from enjoyable reading. I fell into boredom on the second huge page of that textbook and stopped reading. One cannot make himself or herself learn that one finds boring to death. That’s for sure. January 6, 2019. Yours truly, ZE PS I cannot even put “Yours truly” on a new line! If I try to make such a brave step – I am being immediately kicked out of this strange red brick color I have chosen for this paragraph. 😀 С улыбкой по жизни! 😀

1.

RUSSIAN – ENGLISH DUAL-LANGUAGE BOOK of TWO 

RUSSIAN CLASSICS: CHEKHOV and GONCHAROV: 

Enjoy Reading Russian Classical Literature 

(Russian and English Edition) with Page-for-Page 

English Translation Bilingual Edition by Zoia Sproesser 

(Author)

Product details

Paperback: 56 pages

Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform; Bilingual edition  (July 14, 2010)

Language: Russian, English

ISBN-10: 1453683291 ISBN-13: 978-1453683293

Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.1 x 8 inches

Price:    $9.00  (shipping/packing included)

Front cover, Back cover, and Contents page.
Dual-Language Book Chekhov and Goncharov, 56 pages, $9.00 total, Shipping included.

Price, Shipping/Handling, Payment Explained

The price includes a partial self-cost of the book from Publishing company plus Shipping/Handling. Compare: Amazon just (Jan. 3 2019) charged $11.28 the buyer of this book, of which $6.08 belongs to me. So, Amazon earns 5 dollars on the book, while I, the author, hardly 1 dollar (I bought my books from the Publisher first, then yesterday I sent it myself to that buyer; Amazon did only advertising in this case just charging me (the seller through AmazonSeller the big fees – about 4.25 for this particular book). With $9.00 directly to me from a buyer I will earn about 3 dollars for my own book, which, by the way does not make much sense, because the self-cost of the book – to order from a publisher – is higher than that. Well, I have the books, that I ordered a while ago, so I want to sell those. After that – we will see what happens. We can plan many things, but life (or Amazon) plans for us something else that we do not expect.

If you want to send the book as a present, I also can sign it.

The steps How to Make Payment for the book:

1. Email to zoiariga@yahoo.com the name of the book and the shipping address where I should send the book.

2. Send money to PayPal that is connected to the same email
zoiariga@yahoo.com

3. PayPal** will notify me about the payment.

4. As soon as I have your payment, I will send you the book during 1 business day (should not fall on holiday when post-offices are closed), and notify you about the shipment emailing to the email address from which you connected me about the book. The book ships from AZ or CA – within USA.  No deliveries outside USA, sorry!

Book Description

It is a short, convenient to read compilation of the text extracts of the two of the Russian greatest classical writers of the second half of the 19th century: Anton Pavlovich Chekhov and Ivan Alexandrovich Goncharov. In this (the 1st) volume there is Chekhov’s  short story “Stout and Thin” with the author’s (Zoia Sproesser’s- mine)  translation into English, and also, an extract – 

the very beginning – of Goncharov’s masterpiece, the novel “Oblomov”, with the translation made in the 1950ties in England by a  professional literary  translator. The book is a dual language 

book. When readers opens the two pages, they will see on the left page side Russian original text, and on the  right page side 

its English translation. The author, a bilingual educator, who lives and works in California, USA, a native Russian speaker, when  formatting the book, was trying to match the Russian to their English matching paragraphs, as best as shecould. Also, the pages of Russian and English  are kept strictly in match so the translation 

text would never overrun to the next page where a new paragraph/page starts. The book is an excellent tool for those who studies RUSSIAN, and for ENGLISH readers who are interested in having 

closer look at the Russian original of the two  uniquely talented 

and profound classical writers. The book is supplied by  author’s comments and some Russian language/culture explanations.

Sorry for formatting! (That’s the WordPress proud, as they say, creation) – I try here my best. Maybe I will figure it out eventually. Obviously, WordPress does not make it overly customer friendly! I am an educator of languages, not a computer engineer. I do not know HTML language how to change the code of the block so that my formatting go easier for the eye of a reader.

Or, yesterday I tried to insert the college logo into my Outlook email signature, and I was not able to! I read online some murky technical explanations, and was not able to figure it out. A computer engineer advised me to Google it. So here we are!

Figuring all it by ourselves. Thank you, Google, for the info!

Thank you, thank you! Without you, Google, I would be quite informationless. And you do not charge my credit cards without my permission like Amazon does. And you do not ignore author’s concern when an author is trying to speak to you. And you don’t treat intellectual property of other people as your own.

By the way, in about year 2003 or 2004 a PhD professor in Fullerton University (or maybe it was San Bernardino? I studied in both) strictly said to us, Master Degree students: “Do not research Google for your reference! The grade for your research paper will be lowered if I notice that. Research only academic journals!” Well, well, I guess that professor uses Google now, in 2019 (I can’t believe this digit of a year already!) for her research! 😀

And, since I am here on a Google note, I want to add, that one cannot compare the quality of Google translation in the beginning of 2000s with the current quality of Google translation from language to the other foreign language. Even the pronunciation is made by a native speaker of that language. No matter that it sounds a bit electronic, like a robot sometimes, however we cannot go without mentioning great improvement in that area. How many people Google helped!

___________________________________

* drastic measures of Amazon:

  1. They charge $14.20 monthly fee for PrimeAmazon, even if a person did not apply for Prime. They may just sneak into the two credit cards of a person (Just happened to me).
  2. They do not ask the author about the price on his/her book. Amazon just consider himself (itself) the rightful possessor of all authors’ rights and intellectual property (just happened to me that they priced one of my books 3 times lower imposing the Prime membership with its purchase).
  3. Amazon rudely violates fair business practices and authors’ rights, and the customer (author, seller) is helpless. I have done my research. If anybody has another opinion, be my guest to share, especially if there is a class action lawsuit against Amazon, because there are innumerous complainers whom Amazon has treated badly and who will be happy to join.
  4. As a Russian joking song says :”And all the rest is in the complete order, my beautiful Marquise, just in the complete order!” – “А в остальном, прекрасная Маркиза, всё хорошо, всё хорошо!” 😀
  5. If I were an artist, I would make a caricature of Amazon, where he (it) is a big-size monstrous creature with big teeth having in its hands all people, parking lots, warehouses, etc, and in the lower right corner of the picture there is a crowd of complainers, small figures of people, crying with their hands up towards the monster, asking, begging, complaining. The little tags to those people say “a businessman”, “a seller”, “a book author”, “a file creator”, and so on. This is my sketch for artists – for free! If you do it, you will express the pain of all the people (who are “We Are The People”) hurt by Amazon. 😀
  6. I want to thank you, an unknown complainer, who just gave this sober advice that I read yesterday online: “If you have your site, don’t ever deal with Amazon”. Because of you, a smart person you are, I have this post today. Because of you, I will have my own measures applied to deal with the monster. Thank you!
  7. This formatting of the paragraph is not very flexible. Sorry for that, my patient reader and/or visitor! By the way, the wrapping of the pasted text does not work here either very well (I am using the WordPress, their new “block” invention for formatting). It wraps the text breaking words in disorderly uncontrollable manner, so I have to do wrapping of the text manually. Thank you, visitors, for your patience and understnding, that this site is constantly under construction and improvement Zoia Eliseyeva on January 3, 2019 from AZ, USA (sometimes I may be in CA, or, occassionally traveling elsewhere).

** PayPal – I have been with PayPal for 8 or more years. Never anything bad has happened from PayPal. They do charge a fee. If you send me 9 dollars, they will probably charge a few cents fee. Not 4 dollars as Amazon does! By experience I can say that PayPal is the company we can trust with transferring money.

Other Methods of Payment:

Sorry, I cannot accept direct credit card payments*** at this time. PayPal will process your credit card. You need to do it from PayPal.

There was one more money transferring company. When I find it in my files, I will reconnect with it, and post the information here about that second choice of the method of payment for books.

*** credit card payments: I know this will sound funny (in the both meanings of this definition), but I did have very bad experiences with credit card payment processing machine companies; one of them was First Data ( to remember that exact name I need to look it up in my own UTube “zoiacalifornia” where I was posting my fight with them). They were trying to continuously charge a monthly fee my small fashion store business in CA, that I closed in one year. The fight I had in Feb to May 2014! You see, with me, when bad things are over, my brain has a protective reaction: it blocks all of them from easy reach. That was the bad experience fighting that monster who lives out of deception (by their small print agreements) of small businesses. I had many complainers contacting me on my UTube posts about that fight. We, regular people, who sometimes use services of Amazon and First Data have to learn our lessons a hard way, and then we want to stay away from such traumatic, worrysome, time consuming, and health consuming experiences. Huge corporations lived, live, and will live. We, on the other hand, just need to survive through them.

Kindle (e-format):

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UMNAQHM

You may be able to find my books on Kindle by introducing the title into the search. The Kindle price is always much lower than a physical book’s price.

This book’s Kindle Price is $3.99. For some reason Amazon does not link this Kindle edition to the paperback advertising.

However, a reader who uses e-devices of all kinds and screen sizes has to keep in mind the particulars of this book. Because of them, maybe it will not open very well on any device. What are this book’s particulars or features? The format is 5×8 inches. The text takes the whole page – Russian on left side page when you open the book, the English translation is on the right side of the 2 opened pages. It is convenient ton read a physical book like this, however on a small electronic device like Android cell phone Samsung Note 7 the page sized 5×8 will not fit, so your reading of this parallel text will be disturbed by these pieces of the Russian and English pages that appear on that small screen. If you are on a big screen desktop PC, the big chance is that you can read this Kindle edition very well, since the pages will open in their full size.

This is my first book, created when we did not have many small e-devices. Later, in 2014 and after, I started formatting my parallel texts in paragraphs, so that they follow each other, instead of being on the side of each other.

Dual  Language Russian-English Chekhov and Goncharov 56-page book KINDLE edition by Zoia Eliseyeva Price $3.99
Dual Language Russian-English Chekhov and Goncharov 56-page book KINDLE edition by Zoia Eliseyeva Price $3.99

Dual-Language Joke of the Day

Short Distance Travels

January 2, 2019

ENGLISH-RUSSIAN Joke of the Day

Postpartum traveling depression  -(depression after you came back home from traveling).

Депрессия после путешествия – по аналогии с Postpartum – депрессией матери после родов.

Today, on January 1, 2019

Happy New Year on the first day of 2019!

Today, on January 1, 2019, I wish to everybody excellent health and joyful mood! I also wish successful business to those who work, easy and fruitful studies for students, and also, I wish that all your dreams and wishes for this year come true this year!

Island Roatan December 2011. One of the Bay islands of Honduras.
Island Roatan December 2011. One of the Bay islands of Honduras.